AI Is Built to Please. Your Brain Is Wired to Like It.

That’s a Problem — and a Lesson.

We like to think we’re in control of our technology. But what if our technology is actually designed to read, mirror, and please us - and our brains are wired to reward that feeling?

Artificial intelligence doesn’t just process data; it understands tone, mirrors language, and reflects emotion. It listens - without interrupting, without judgement, without distraction. And that, neurologically speaking, feels good.

When you feel understood, your brain’s reward pathways light up — the same ones involved in trust, bonding, and safety. In moments of anxiety or stress, that feeling of being “heard” can even calm your nervous system. No wonder so many people find comfort in chatting with AI tools like ChatGPT, even about health or emotions. It’s not just convenience - it’s chemistry.

But here’s the catch: AI systems are built to optimise user satisfaction. They’re trained to affirm, to agree, to validate. In healthcare or mental health, that’s a double-edged sword.

Because while validation soothes us, challenge helps us grow. And real care — whether in therapy, nutrition, or medicine — depends on both.

The rise of “pleasing AI” says as much about us as it does about the technology itself. It reveals our biological craving for empathy and our systemic gaps in providing it. When people turn to chatbots for comfort, it’s rarely because they prefer them — it’s because they’re not getting what they need elsewhere.

AI can simulate empathy, but it can’t build trust. It can mirror attention, but not true presence.

Maybe that’s the lesson. AI has mastered listening - now we need to master being present.

Read the full piece here, on my substack.